Don't Get ME Started - Tapa dura

Discusses such topics as being gay, national politics, Jewishness, and commercial mascots

e thing straight. I'm not. And yes, my brother is Bill Clinton. But not the Bill Clinton. These two guys are very different. For one, whenever I hear President Bill speak--on gays in the military, healthcare reform--I hear that sound trucks make when they're backing up.

I was born on the cusp of Title IX, at a time when the sports pages claimed only men played sports. When people ask where I got my comedy training, I tell them teaching high school English. I began performing stand-up in 1981, the same year Ronald Reagan began his comedy. I never got used to saying President Ronald Reagan. It was like saying President Merv Griffin. Reagan wasn't so much a president as the host. He was having such a good time playing president and going on vacation that he decided to run again.

I'm out and proud. When I'm out and it's raining I carry an umbrella. I used to be in but I hate the smell of moth balls. My closet was huge, complete with a foyer, turnstile, a few locks,